Random Wednesday

I mentioned in my last post that Brianna will "shhhhh" me when I sing sometimes.   She also breaks out the "shhhhh" if Michael and I argue or if someone is in the car with us and we are talking and she wants to hear the song playing on the radio.  While I'm not okay with her being disrespectful or disruptive... I  often have a hard time not laughing.  Part of why I find this so funny is that apparently I did the same thing when I was her age.  My little brother, Adam, was born on my second birthday.  Yes... the exact day... and he LOVED when our Mom sang to him.  I really didn't like it.  Apparently I would sit under the kitchen table and put my hands over my ears and scream, "STOP SINGING!!".  My mom said I am getting "payback".  If this is the worst of my "payback" I will gladly take it!!! 

Another fun (notsofun) fact... Michael obsessively sings and it drives me crazy.  Many days he wakes up singing and goes to bed singing.  He sings in the shower, he sings in the car, he sings at work.  The boy is always singing.  There are MANY days that I want to go sit under the kitchen table and cover my ears and scream "STOP SINGING!!".  For me, there is no greater torture.  We are going to Florida this year and for the first time in our seven years together we are driving instead of flying.  I'm thinking I need to invest in some really great noise cancelling headphones for that trip.  

I received one of the happiest text messages EVER yesterday morning.  My college roommate, Stephanie,  is 9 weeks pregnant!!!!  She and her husband, Austin, have had a very difficult  journey with more heartbreak than any couple should experience.  Please keep them and their little peanut in your prayers.  I am so incredibly excited for them and can't wait to watch as they experience every little and big joy that is coming their way.  I pray that God holds their hearts extra close right now!

How can I follow such a happy announcement?  How about I announce my own newest love?  Cranberry Juice! I am obsessed right now.  I try not to drink much (ummmm hello sugar) but I'm constantly thinking about a full glass of crushed ice and a splash of cranberry juice.  Yum!! I realize now after typing that how much that sounds like a pregnancy craving... nope... not me!!! 

Which conveniently brings me to the next topic I'd like to discuss. Michael and I have gotten the million dollar question pretty much on a weekly basis since Brianna was born.  "Are you ready for number two?"  "When are you going to give Brianna a sibling?"  "How many kids do you want?"  I can't say these questions irritate me... because they don't... I just don't have any answers.  The PRO/CON list continues to have way too much in each column keeping it balanced and no where near tipping in either direction.  I want Brianna to have at least one sibling and I like to pretend that with baby number two I won't be such a nutcase and be a little bit more laid back and be better at accepting help.  But then I think about recovering from another c-section and PPD and I'm terrified.  Absolutely terrified.  Then you consider childcare, Brianna starting preschool next year, diapers... I can go on and on and on.  But I will stop.   If God blessed us with another child tomorrow we would be extremely excited and thankful and we would figure all of the other stuff out in time.  If we wait until the timing is what we consider to be perfect then we will never have a second child.  As I told Tara over and over throughout her labor, "God's timing is always perfect."

Okay... I think that is enough randomness for a random Wednesday evening.  

I'm going to go attempt to kick insomnia's butt.  I've only been able to sleep a handful of hours a night this week.  It hasn't been fun and it is making me irritable and emotional at work, which is extra bad considering my clients typically come to me irritable and emotional themselves.     Thursday is MY Friday though...  I've almost made it to my three days home with my girl!  Goodnight, friends.                          

Happy Birthday, Brianna!

Michael and I officially have a curly headed, energetic, smart, and curious two year old little girl running around our house.  On her actual birthday (February 20th) I put a picture up on facebook and mentioned that when she turned one I felt like I was not only celebrating her but also my own accomplishment of keeping a little human alive for a whole year.  Now that her second birthday has come and gone I really feel like we celebrated HER this year!  I love who she is and every new little glimpse we get to see of her personality.  She makes us laugh constantly these days.  I love how much of a little sponge her brain is at this stage.  She remembers EVERYTHING.  And asks questions about the things she doesn't know.  

When she wakes up in the morning or after a nap she has so much to tell me.  Its like she has done a lot of thinking and she has to tell me every thought that crossed her mind while she was alone in her crib.  Yesterday we were out on the deck and she was playing.  She ran up to me and looked up and said "Mom, what is this place?" I immediately cracked up.  The fact that she called me Mom makes me laugh but I also still die a little inside every time she replaces Mommy with Mom.  I told her we were on the deck and she moved on satisfied with my response.  She asked this same question on Saturday when we went to lunch with my Aunt Sharon.  We went to a local barbecue place that is basically a big red barn.  Michael was carrying her and she said, "Dad, what is this place?".  He told her it was a restaurant but that isn't the answer she was looking for so she asked me again once we sat down.  I told her we were in a barn and she got a huge smile.  Then refused to sit in the highchair because, don't you know, that thing is a torture chamber for someone that is TWO.  Those things are for babies.  Why sit and enjoy the food and company when you can be running around in a BARN!

I have learned she does much better with our routine when she knows what to expect.  Talking with her about a change before it happens seems to make schedule changes go much more smoothly.  I plan to use this as my first defense when dealing with the infamous "terrible twos".  So far she seems to do just fine when she is rested.  When she misses a nap or doesn't get enough sleep we see some pretty terrible outbursts.  But I wouldn't trade it for anything.  

Brianna's Loves:  

Baby Graham & Baby J.R.

Madagascar 3

Kikis (Blankies) 

Stuffed animals (must to my dismay... and lack of room)

Books- favorites right now are Barney Goes to the Zoo and Lila Leapfrog

Accessories- shoes, purses, jewlery, hair bows etc

Bink (I need to somehow break her of this stupid pacifier before March 15th (two year doctor's visit)

Brushing her Teeth

The Polar Express (oh... you thought that was a Christmas movie?  Not in our house)

Bathies

Bread Crust (I find this super weird)

CANDY

Trains

Anything outside- I can't wait for SPRING!

Dislikes: 

Having her hair fixed, brushed or even touched

Highchairs

Lettuce (gets it from her Dad)

Here are some pictures from her party at our house last weekend.  She still has another party next Sunday.  This child is going to think birthdays are celebrated for a full month.  

Watch her grow!  A picture a month

"Coco Dots" were the theme

A little pre-party Swedish Fish

Every time I tried to sing "Happy Birthday" she said SHHHH Mommy!

Brianna LOVES Claire... Claire isn't so sure

Great Granny and Claire

The cake... that I hated...

But she loved it... that really is all that matters

So Sweet!!!

All hopped up on sugar!

Thank you to everyone that helped us celebrate Brianna!  She loved every minute!

Graham James Wiley

I have another new love in my life!!! My oldest bestie (time, not age) gave birth to the most adorable little man January 23rd and I have been anxiously waiting to type my first love note to him because he had a bit of a dramatic entrance into this world! I didn't feel comfortable sharing MY version of his birth  story until she shared hers.  (Warning: this is a long post!)

Let's begin with a bit of the backstory.  Believe it or  not, my mother and Tara's mother shared a hospital room when they gave birth to us!  We were born six days apart and our mother's who were in their late twenties had gone to high school together back in the day.  Tara grew up down the street from me and we went all the way through school together.  We had our very own shortcut to get to each other's houses.  We did everything together.  We were sisters.  We played like sisters, fought like sisters and loved like sisters.  Very long story short... it was amazing.  

So on Monday, January 22nd, four entire weeks before her due date I received a text message while in a work meeting saying that her water broke and she was on the way to the hospital.  I was convinced it was a joke.  She had been telling me that this was a fear of hers for quite a while.  I kept laughing it off and telling her that it doesn't happen very often and it just really FEELS that way.  She and I both thought she would make it beyond her due date.  She has worked out and remained super healthy throughout her pregnancy.  Well... it was not a joke... she assured me that her water breaking was very real... in her office kind of real! I had a brief anxiety attack and told her I was going to get to the hospital as soon as I could.  She was there for me throughout my induction and she kept me calm.  I wanted to do the same for her! 

Upon making it to the hospital and walking into the room I was in tears as soon as I saw her.  This was real!  This was happening!  Tara was going to be a Mommy... and soon! I'm not going to go into much detail about her labor because this is her birth story, not mine, but I felt so much love and excitement in these early moments.  I was seeing all of Tara's hopes and dreams become reality.  That's not something you see every day!  Tara is so strong, resilient and hard working.  Always has been.  Tara and Matt have fought hard for the beautiful relationship and marriage that they have today.  There was so much love in that room... that's what I want Graham to know.  Yes, there were fears of his early arrival and crazy anticipation that comes along with any labor, but my goodness... there was so much love bursting from that room.  

Turns out Tara's strength served her very well and she was a total rockstar at labor and delivery.  She amazed me.  And I hope Tara and Matt don't mind me also saying that Matt earned rockstar status in my book as well.  I love how he loves her.  Graham, you are such a wanted, desired, and celebrated little man and you will never have to look far when you need an example of what it means to be a good man.  

Graham came into this world at 12:44 PM on January 23rd and he was a beautiful 6 pounds and 9 ounces of joy.  The minutes, hours and days following his birth were emotional and terrifying.  It became very clear that this tiny bundle of joy was a fighter.  God answered SO MANY prayers from so many people.  He was pulling through.  It is truly amazing to look at this little guy now and remember just how scary of a situation he was in just weeks ago.  With the help of some amazing nurses and doctors and the most pure form of love from his Mommy and Daddy and all of their family and friends, Graham kept making improvement after improvement... having so many of us standing in awe and appreciation.  There are so many heroes involved in this story.  My favorite?  Graham himself.  He is extraordinary.  And I think that is exactly the type of life he is destined to live... extraordinary.  

I feel my love grow for him every time I hear a new detail and quirk that has developed to form his little personality.  My heart expands when I hold him cuddled up on my shoulder as his Mommy and I catch up on girl talk.  He better get used to that girl talk... I need his Mommy and I like to think she needs me too.  Tara and I have been dreaming of our children and the friendship they may share since we were babies ourselves.  I have no words for the emotions I feel when I think of all of the memories we are going to create for Brianna and Graham.  The happiness and sheer gratitude I feel in my heart with his arrival is something I will cherish forever.  

Here is a picture I took on my phone while holding this little man yesterday.  Isn't that a sweet little face?  He looks so much like his Mommy.  

I also took some pictures of Brianna and Graham's first meeting which also took place yesterday.  I'm going to share those pictures and stories in a future post.  

I love you, Baby Graham!  Part of me already feels like you have always been in my life.  I will love you forever! 

You can read Tara's birth story on her blog: ourwileyworld.blogspot.com !

Soon

It is currently 2 AM and my decision to start going to go to bed early for the past week is not working out so well.  The first few nights and days were fabulous.  I woke up actually feeling rested after going to bed soon after I put Brianna to sleep and now... the night I truly need the sleep because I have to work tomorrow, I find myself awake hours before it is time to begin my day!

Most of the time when I have trouble sleeping it is because my mind is racing.  It usually helps to pray, try to think about thinks I'm happy or excited about and try to put myself at ease.  It isn't working right now!  One of the biggest things on my mind is that my little girl is going to be a two year old next week.  That is so soon!

I keep putting the thought of "two" off.  With planning one party and helping with another it is a bit of a distraction. I didn't send invites out with much notice because of this denial.  But realizing she is so independent and only needs Mommy sometimes makes me both proud and a little sad.  I love her so much and I hope she knows it!  Every single thing I do is in love for her and our family.

I not only love her... I like her a lot!  She is funny, curious, loving, considerate, stubborn, persistent and most of all, sweet.  Last night I was helping her get dressed and for the first time she insisted on which hair bow and shoes that she wear.  I let her make the decision by giving her two choices of each and she got to choose.  I was terrified.  But this is a good thing!  I am happy that she has an opinion.  I have worked tirelessly as a Mommy to make sure she knows she has a voice.  That she can be heard.  And this is just the beginning.  There will be some rocky phases, I'm sure, but I'm proud that she is finding her voice.  Even if for now that means that mostly means in clothing, food and television preferences.

I love how she confidently goes about her day but little things bring her back to my leg.  That is usually all of the reassurance she needs.  To know that I'm there.  I want to pick her up and snuggle her every time but I know there is a time and place for that.

Her innocence is one of my favorite things to ever exist.  And I know it won't be here for long.  But I pray for knowledge each and every step of the way.  Preschool is not far off and that gets the whole schooling thing rolling.  I want to push back and deny it but it is part of life.  And she will be okay.  Michael and I will be okay.

This really wasn't meant to be a depressing post.  This is just what is on my mind at the moment.  I think every parent thinks their child is destined to do great things.  I know my baby is too.  I just want to make sure I help and not hinder that.  For now I want her to feel loved to the fullest every day.  And appreciated.  There has never been a greater joy in our lives!