AIM

I had a revelation recently that compared AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) to Facebook.  I think I joined Facebook sometime in 2006.  I could probably login to find out for sure but that is somewhere in the ballpark of six year that this silly social network site has been a part of my life.  I was thinking... what did we do before Facebook?

Then I remembered our little "away messages" on AIM.  You could say what you planned on doing that afternoon.  Some people would update after each activity throughout the day while others would leave a simple song lyric up for everyone to ponder.  

AIM WAS our Facebook!  How funny is that?  I remember that little ping every time someone would login.  I remember "hiding" myself so that other people didn't know I was online and could see who was on and what they were posting.  Isn't that kind of what Facebook is?  

I have been thankful that we didn't have Facebook and Twitter when I was a teenager.  There is too much angst and emotional trauma at that stage in life.  A teenager doesn't understand that those emotions are temporary.  They don't realize that people really DO understand how you feel and some of them very well could be just as intelligent as you are.  

I'm currently reading "Where I Belong" by Emily Giffin and there is a lot of talk about the 90's and music.  I saw a post by the Blue Eyed Bride after she finished this book and the time period was taking her back as well. While transferring music from an old computer to my MacBook Pro this weekend I was listening to some old school Dashboard Confessional that took me right back to undergrad.  Isn't it funny how some songs can make you feel EXACTLY how you felt back then.  That's okay... thinking about pulling up old Facebook status' telling the world what those feelings are... that makes me cringe.  This officially makes me old.  But to be fair, I've always been conservative so only half of my cringing can be blamed on age.  

I get the fun job of helping clients clean up their act all of the time.  I see them realize... "Wow.  I probably should have put all of that out there."  And by then, there is usually not much you can really do about it.  

Now on to the REAL problem... what the heck is going to be out there by the time my little sweet Brianna is twelve?  It scares the bejezzus out of me.  I think I'm going to start praying for guidance now.  Maybe in eleven years I'll be able to deal with what is to come!  YIKES!

Heroes

I wasn't sure I wanted to post about this but it has been on my mind so much that I thought I would just get it all out here. 

Warning: The post is a little graphic (and sad)

I had a doctor's appointment on Monday and as I was leaving and getting on the ramp to the interstate I turned the corner and saw a big van lose control and flip over.  The lady in front of me and myself pulled over to the side and waited while the van crashed on the cab that the driver was sitting in.  I immediately picked up my phone and dialed 911.  I sat in my car and talked to the dispatcher.  I literally could not move.  I was shaking.  I couldn't get myself to run over to the van to check on the driver.  Quite honestly, I was too afraid of what I would see and was worried I wouldn't be able to handle it.  

Luckily two more cars pulled over and two men ran over to the van and pulled the man out of the passenger side window which had obviously shattered along with all of the other windows.  The man wasn't moving and had a pretty serious head injury.  Another woman pulled over and came running and telling us she was an RN.  She helped elevate his legs and apply pressure to some of the bleeding.  The man was conscious and aware of everything around him.  

After the police and ambulance were dispatched I hung up the phone with 911.  I didn't feel like there was anything else I could do.  Once the police arrived I gave my name and phone number in case they needed a statement and shakily got back into my car and went on with my day. 

But I have been unable to forget what I saw.  What I saw was something that happened in the blink of an eye.  I saw everyday heroes come to this man's rescue.  They didn't hesitate, they ran and did what they could do to help.  Once the man was rescued from the van, I saw grown men hold this strangers hand in an attempt to provide some amount of comfort in this nightmare he was experiencing.  

I'm frustrated that I wasn't strong enough (emotionally) to pull that man out of the van.  But I'm so thankful there are people in the world that are... and do.  

This scenario has been happening a lot recently.  Michael actually saw a car accident about two months ago and the man died.  I still don't think he has recovered from seeing that.  A relative of my cousin has been dealing with recovery from a car accident for months upon months dealing with surgery upon surgery, rehabilitation and fighting with insurance companies trying to get the benefits that should be given to him without question.   

I pray for all of my family and friends and am incredibly thankful for each moment I have with them.  I pray for their safety and my own and try to remain as aware of my surroundings as possible and be alert at all times when driving.  The least we can do is not text while driving, obviously have someone else drive if you've been drinking, and maintain your car so that it is as safe as possible for you and your family.  

Okay... I'm hoping to have less nightmares now that I got this out!  Hopefully I'll be back with a more uplifting post soon!

Labor Day 2012

Last time I checked Labor Day was supposed to be the day you take off from "Laboring".  Last time I checked, every single holiday has turned into "Labor".  Which is why I'm happy to announce this year the Lee family is boycotting Labor Day celebrations.  

Every holiday that comes around emails start going back and forth between families.  When each celebration will be, where they will be held, who will be attending and what you plan to bring.  Sounds like fun, right?  In theory, yes... its a blast and we love having friends and family to celebrate with.  But when you consider that most of the time we have THREE family gatherings to go to, sometimes all in one day, it is utterly exhausting!  

The first problem is travel time.  Each location is 45-60 minutes away from the last.  The next problem is a toddler that doesn't get a nap.  The third problem is this tired Mama chasing a toddler in homes that are not baby proofed.  

I also have gotten the sense that some family members are less than thrilled about hosting these days.  I totally get it.  Family gatherings are expensive and a TON of work.  I try my best to clean up after my little family but I know that the bulk of the cleaning is left with the hosts after all of the people are long gone. 

So this year Labor Day will be spent at home.  I hope we don't hurt anyone's feelings.  With all of the holidays coming up in the next few months we will have plenty of time for celebrations and family time.  

I plan to spend my four day weekend loving on my baby girl and doing fun things with my little family.  If anyone would like to visit us, they are welcome to!!!  You can come to my baby proofed house and we can relax and hang out with Brianna as she plays with her toys after she takes a nap in her crib :)  We will all be much happier that way!

Tease

This weather has really been messing with me.  After a scorching summer this past week has been absolutely lovely.  It has felt cool and crisp in the morning and comfortably warm in the afternoons.  Brianna and I went for a walk this morning, before noon, and it was HOT again!  I was so upset!  

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year.  I love getting out my sweaters and scarves.  I love the in between weather of wearing a sweater in the evening but still able to wear flip flops.  Well... let's be fair, I would actually wear flip flops all year if I could.  

Michael even started with his fall allergies with the change in weather.  So now that its going to be back in the 90's for the next week does that mean we'll have to start that transition all over again?  What the heck!  

I'm looking forward to layering Brianna too.  I plan on putting little leggings under some of her dresses and light sweaters.  I want to get my money's worth, just in case she doesn't fit in some of her dresses in the spring.  

One thing I will miss is the ease of throwing on a dress.  Both for Brianna and myself.  It is so nice with Bri to just have one piece of clothing have the ability to be an entire outfit.  Another thing that has been great this summer is that we have found THE perfect pair of shoes that go with everything.  They are white, comfy, and easy. After growing out of the shoes I purchased in the spring, my Mom and I went to Stride Rite to have her fitted.  They were super great with kids and we could not have been happier with these shoes.

  

Here is the link in case you're interested... 

stride rite Baby Butterscotch -stride rite

So now I'm wondering... how are we going to have to deal with shoes and socks with my baby who loves sandals and being barefoot as much as her Mommy?  Of course, we will deal!  

So other than that, Fall... we are ready when you are!  I can't wait to take Brianna to a pumpkin patch, carve pumpkins and figure out costumes for Halloween!  I will be indulging in a carmel apple or two even though they are probably not too WW friendly.  

And weather?  Stop teasing!

18 Months!

As of today, August 20th, there really is no more denying that my sweet baby girl is now a toddler.  She is a year and a half old!  I am so torn in my emotions about this.  On one hand, it breaks my heart to see her lose so many of her baby traits daily.  On the other, I have never been so filled with joy as I am watching her discover the world around her and soak everything up like a little sponge.

Physically, Brianna is growing taller by the second!  She is getting tall and skinny... well... you can see every rib in her body when she stretches to reach something but has luckily kept her little chunky thighs... but man, there is no denying our girl is tall!  We don't have her 18 month visit to the doctor for another couple of weeks because I am in the process of switching her primary doctor and I decided a little bit of a week for a doctor that I have loved is definitely worth it.  I'm excited to see where she falls on the little growth chart.  Michael and I have decided that we definitely need to get a growth chart on the wall, sooner than later.  There are some mornings we sit and look at each other, puzzled, wondering how it seems that she has grown two inches overnight.  I'd like to have something tangible on the wall to mark the progress.  I'm trying to figure out if I should pretend I'm crafty enough to do something off pinterest or if I should just find one online to order.  Another thing I've noticed about her physical appearance is her face looking thinner and more grown up.  There are still plenty of cheekers to smootch on but she definitely is looking more like a little girl than little baby.

Now onto the fun part... Emotionally, Brianna has grown leaps and bounds in the past few months.  She is starting to put two words together.  She wants to constantly tell us what something is and who it belongs to.  "Mommy's! Car!, Daddy's! Shirt!, Bri Bri's! Milk!" She does this all day long, every day.  She just started calling me "Mommy" this past week.  Until now, she has called me "Mama" or "Mom Mom".  I promise, she has said Mommy 500 times a day since she started.  And I love it!  She also started asking for cuddles...  this is adorable and I love it but this little girl is a smart cookie.  She knows if she asks for cuddles it buys her a good ten minutes that she doesn't have to go to bed.

Other funny things keep happening.  One morning this weekend I was getting her milk right after she woke up (she asks as soon as I walk in her room) and I dropped the lid from the gallon.  Brianna picked it up and handed it to me.  I lit up and said "THANK YOU!  You are such a good helper!".  Brianna smiled and then started jumping around the kitchen.  I then realized, she thought I said "hopper".

I keep telling everyone I want to freeze time RIGHT NOW!  I can't wait to see her in the morning and I miss her when I put her to bed.  As you can tell from recent posts, working has been terrible.  Between changes at work and missing my girl, I would do anything to get to stay home with her.  Stupid student loans and fear of losing all of my certifications... UGH!

Yesterday we were leaving my aunt's house and she was in the back being very quiet.  When I got to a red light I turned around to see if she was asleep.  I realized she wasn't asleep, she was just staring at her Mommy and when I looked at her she broke into a giant smile... LOVE! She is always studying.  She watches what we do, what we say and is very into how we are feeling.  She is also a sensitive little person, no surprise :)  If you say something too sternly it hurts her feelings and she will cry.

Michael and I tell each other a hundred times a day how much of a joy our girl is.  We truly can't get enough.  Baby Girl definitely has it made but... Michael and I?... we are the lucky ones!!!

Happy 18 month birthday, Brianna!!!

It Doesn't Get Any Easier

Ten short weeks after giving birth I spent an entire week holding a SLEEPING bundle of perfection and cried my eyes out. Why??? I had to go back to work! I was leaving the most important thing I had ever done and had to go help complete strangers. In what universe does that make sense? It didn't matter that I was leaving her with my mother three days and a close friend the other two. It didn't matter that I was able to get off at three pm and have the entire evening with her as well as every weekend. It didn't make sense.

Almost a year and a half later I am sitting awake at nearly midnight saying the same exact thing. It doesn't matter that I now work a four day work week. It doesn't matter that our next door neighbor watches our busy toddler so she can stay at her own house, play with her own toys, sleep in her own bed and have constant one on one attention. I miss her every second I am away. I miss her right now when she is sound asleep in the next room. It doesn't make sense!

I apologize to my co-workers for all of my complaining. They too, have to leave their children to come to work. But they also have to give ME a pep talk daily. As I was whining this morning a co-worker reminded me... Monday's are always especially hard for you. I realized when she said this that I have never adjusted. I still want to be the one with my sweet girl. No matter how well she is being taken care of or how much I feel I need a break... I still want to be the one with her!

I often feel weak these days and I don't like it at all! Thank you to all of my amazing friends and family who are there to support me in these moments of weakness!

The truth is... I respect every mother. The mothers who make sacrifices so they can be home with their little ones AND the ones that spend their time counting down the seconds until they can see that smiling little face.

And those women who do it a second time? Or third time? They blow my mind! Those women are super heroes!

Okay... Excuse me while I risk waking my baby so I can give her a kiss :)

ENT Follow-up Turned Playdate

Michael and I took Brianna to Children's Hospital this morning to have a follow-up appointment from the tubes that were put in her ears nine months ago.  I have been praying that the tubes are still in place and doing their job and this prayer was answered!  The surgeon said that everything looks great and we will just see him again in six to nine months for another check-up unless she begins to have more trouble with her ears.  

When she is teething she sometimes fools us and pulls on her ears making us think they hurt but soon after the drool begins and you can feel a new little toother about to break through.  She is such a tough baby.

Brianna also had a hearing test today which was quite an event last time but went very smooth this time now that she is a little older and they are able to keep her attention much better.  She passed with flying colors.  Even after hours of waiting well into her nap time she was sociable and happy.  She got excited when the audiologist cheered for her.  She called out the name of each of the items that popped up after she identified where the sound was coming from.  The audiologist actually made a comment at one point that it really wouldn't be completely necessary to finish the screening because she obviously hears quite well to have the level of speech that she does.  Of course we finished anyway... and our little angel scored fantastically.  

I'm surprised how outgoing Brianna tends to be around others she has never met.  There were five to ten other families in the waiting area and Brianna thought they were all her friends and we were there to play.  She walked around smiling and waving and collecting books from the bin and delivering them to the families as gifts. Most of the families loved this and the ones that didn't seem quite as awake or friendly we just had her avoid. It was adorable to watch my friendly, happy girl bring joy to all of those other families.  

But... this brings me to the next little dilemma we're experiencing with her name.  My entire pregnancy we couldn't settle on a name for our little peanut.  We waited to announce her name after she was born...even to our closest friends and family.  After we brought home our little Brianna McKenzie.  Brianna can be pronounced two different ways.  Here are the two different ways:  

Brianna (Bri-ah-nuh)

Brianna (Bri-an-uh)

Michael preferred Bri-an-uh so that is what we have gone with... but mostly call her Bri for short.  Recently she has been calling herself Bri which has been cute.  Last week Michael started teaching her to say her full name and at first she would say Bri.... pause.... ahnuh.  

Which brings me back her friendlessness at the hospital this morning.  Whenever a little boy, girl or family would ask her her name she would say "Anna (ahnuh)".   

I think it is hysterical... especially because this is the pronunciation and name that I rooted for in the first place.  I also think its adorable that my not even eighteen month old tries to introduce herself to people.  Precious.... simply precious! 

So for now going to go smooch my little Anna's forehead before I head to bed myself.  

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!