Crying it Out

Brianna has had some huge developments in the past couple weeks... heck... the past couple days even, which I will be posting about this weekend in her 11 MONTH POST!!  11 months already... insane.

One of the biggest things, to me at least, is her bedtime routine.  For the first few months of Brianna's life she would want to be put down when she was tired and would put herself to sleep.  A big part of this was the sleep training I did with Becoming Baby Wise but once she started having ear infection after ear infection and didn't feel well she liked to be rocked to sleep.  I LOVED this time.  I loved the cuddles, I loved watching her with her pacifier in her mouth and holding onto her blankie and I loved that moment when she fell asleep and looked so peaceful and relaxed.  The past few weeks have not been quite so peaceful.  If I could get her to calm down enough to fall asleep then the second I tried to put her in her crib she would scream and I would start all over.  Friends and family kept telling me I was crazy and that I   was spoiling her and that it is just setting myself up for more trouble in the future.  This really upset me.  I feel like she is my only child so I should be able to spoil her.  I want the cuddle time as much as she does.  But after fighting night after night I realized something had to change.  Not only was it stressing me out and I wasn't getting any sleep, she was miserable too!

A few nights ago Michael realized I wasn't going to be able to be the one to be the bad guy.  He told me to go lay down (I desperately needed sleep) and he was going to put her in her crib to cry it out.  Well... Brianna and I BOTH ended up crying it out.  For a solid thirty minutes I sat in the bedroom crying while she screamed at the top of her lungs.  I would come out every five minutes or so and Michael wouldn't let me go in the room.  He literally ended up sitting on the floor in front of her bedroom door so I couldn't sneak in.  It had to be as hard on him as it was for us but he stuck to it.  She finally calmed down and fell asleep and slept 11 hours.  It was torture... but it worked.

Since then I have been putting her in her crib for naps (when I have her during the day) and bedtime.  She knows what is coming and doesn't like it.  She screams but doesn't immediately stand up like she was before.  I turn on her little fish aquarium and give her her blankie and pacifier and walk out.  She has rarely cried longer than 5 minutes.  Even though I know it is what needs to happen and it is proving to work, it is still hard for me.

I'm starting to get nervous about the transition from formula to milk, bottle to cup and getting rid of the pacifier.  These are things I've never really given much thought to so I'm surprised it is causing me so much anxiety.  I guess I want to hold on to my baby being a BABY just a little bit longer!