Happy Birthday, Tara!!!

Tara, Tara, Tara... so much to say on this day of your birth :) 

I'm so very thankful that you were born.  How many people start out the history with their best friend from the day they were born.  Literally?  That's crazy.  Well.. technically... you lived 6 whole days without me.  That must have been hard on you.

I love that every memory I have either involves you or I can remember you being there.  You have always been there.  

I remember playing for hours and hours with our baby dolls.  Now?  Those dolls are real.  And we hang out with our babies and can sit and talk for hours. 

Time flies when I'm with you.  You make me a better person and I thank God every day for placing you in my life.  

And now I will share a very special gift... a few pictures from our past... you know you love it.  You can just thank me now that I didn't go back further than I did.  

Love

Sad day

Dorks

Twin Towers

Doesn't everyone get all dressed up and go to Bob Evans?

Our favorite place.  So many memories!

Happy Birthday, TT!  How is it that you keep getting better with age?  You are one of the strongest people I know.  I am proud to call you my friend.  You are so incredibly loved.  

More Brianna Love

I am so happy to announce that Friday was the day that Brianna and I ventured back to Target following our disaster Monday and it was a SUCCESS!  My baby girl SAT IN THE CART, earned some M&M's and as we were leaving I stopped by the customer service desk (where they DO have a "lost and found" as I mentioned in my previous post) and they had her kiki!!!! We all left happy.  Now... this wasn't a trip that Mommy got to browse the fabulously fun dollar bin or the outside sections for fun clearance finds.  We went in on a mission and left with the few things that were needed.  I just need to accept the fun Target trips will be a treat when I make it out of the house alone.  And I'm okay with that.  

Above are the pictures following this successful trip and you can see the fun Easter container or mini M&Ms and her kiki happily in her arms.  You know those cute cart covers?  They were a FAVORITE of mine until this toddler stage.  While I still wipe the cart down to the best of my ability there is no possible way that I can manage to get the cart cover on before wrestling my curly headed strong willed cutie into the cart herself.  I won't lie... seeing her in the cart without our cover makes me cringe.  But this is another thing that this Mommy will just have to get over!

I posted this next picture on Facebook.  Tara and Baby Graham visited our house a couple weeks ago and Brianna was obsessed with his car seat.  We have now temporarily repurposed ours as a toddler chair.  She loves it.  Toddlers are weird :)  She is wearing her dress up Sleeping Beauty dress and holding one of her favorite blankies.  How wrong is it that I think this is cute?  

Which leads me to another thought.  I love how I can't say Graham's name without saying "Baby Graham".  I think that nickname will stick for a while.  Some of Brianna's cousins still call her "Baby Bri" and I love it.  

This next picture is Brianna "reading" her special book from her Aunt Kimmie.  For those of you who don't know, Brianna's Aunt Kimmie lives in South Carolina.  But Kim thought ahead.  When I was pregnant with Brianna she recorded one of those Hallmark books (about a princess- fitting if you know my bestie) and I would play the book for my belly even before she was born.  Kim wanted Brianna to know her voice.  And she does.  And I think that is awesome.  Brianna is finally old enough to go grab this book off the shelf and have her Aunt Kimmie read her this story.  She knows how to turn each page just right so we hear every word.  And Kimberly.... just so you know... she hugs the book :)  

Is anyone judging me because there is a potty in our living room?  If not, maybe you would like to judge me because potty training scares me.  I like diapers.  A lot.  Public restrooms with a little one that touches everything is not my idea of fun.  So for now we are learning about the potty.  Occasionally sitting on it.  Or putting a dolly or stuffed animal on it.  And making it sound like a lot of fun.  So... sometimes the potty ends up in our living room.  

And one more iPhone picture of a sleepy girl.  I love this little profile and chunky cheekers! 

Have I mentioned I love her?  She lights my world. 

Perspective

When I was on my way home from work yesterday I was reflecting on how I need to be better about how much I let Brianna's two year old outbursts get to me.  Then this song came on the radio...

It Won't Be Like This for Long 

By:  Darius Rucker

He didn't have to wake up, he'd been up all night

Lying there in bed and listening to his newborn baby cry

He makes a pot of coffee, he splashes water on his face

His wife gives him a kiss and says it's gonna be okay

It won't be like this for long

One day we'll look back laughing at the week we brought her home

This phase is gonna fly by, so baby just hold on

It won't be like this for long

Four years later 'bout 4:30am, she's crawling in their bed

And when he drops her off at pre-school she's clinging to his leg

The teacher peels her of him, he says, "What can I do?"

She says, "Now don't you worry, this'll only last a week or two"

It won't be like this for long

One day soon you'll drop her off and she won't even know you're gone

This phase is gonna fly by if you can just hold on

It won't be like this for long

Someday soon she'll be a teenager and at times he'll think she hates him

Then he'll walk her down the aisle and raise her veil

But right now she's up and crying and the truth is he don't mind

As he kisses her goodnight and she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her till her eyes are finally closed

And just watching her breaks his heart 'cause he already knows

It won't be like this for long

One day soon that little girl is gonna be all grown up and gone

And this phase is gonna fly by so he's trying to hold on

'Cause it won't be like this for long

And I was in tears.  It isn't the first time I've heard this song.  But it was a good time to hear it and be reminded that I am going to miss these days.  Brianna is learning who she is.  She is asserting her independence.  And all I can do is continue to guide her to the best of my ability.

So at 2:30am, my curly headed two year old woke up crying last night.  Michael went in to comfort her.  She usually just needs a hug and her blankie and she goes right back to sleep.  He got back in bed and ten minutes later she was screaming again.  I went in to try to calm her down but she wasn't having it.  Remembering my realization on the way home... I picked her up and took her into the living room to cuddle with her.  We don't allow her in our bed.  Around 3:30am I was really sleepy and she was still wide awake.  I broke our rule and took her to our bed.  She cuddled in between Michael and I, reached over and touched Michael and said "Hi, Dad." And then went right to sleep.  

We woke up this morning and for a moment fear crept over me.  What have I done?  She'll never sleep in her bed again! Then I saw her sweet face curled up against me and she looked so content.  It will all be okay.  She WILL sleep in her bed tonight.  And I'll be thankful in a few years for the memories I have of late night cuddles and how happy she was snuggling with Mommy and Daddy.  

It won't be like this for long!

I LOVE MY TODDLER

We all see that frazzled mom in Target with a screaming child and think, "Man, this lady is a mess.  Who let her have a child?"

That was me last night.  

I was the mom that walked in those big red doors and let my child convince me that sitting in the big part of the cart was acceptable.  And I fooled myself into believing that it was a good compromise.  Until I got to the diaper aisle and the diapers took up the entire cart.  Where does a toddler go at that point?  Mine? She got to walk.  What did I just say???  Yes, she got to walk.  

We made it to the beauty section where I needed to grab some mascara.  A two year old running free in the beauty section, you ask?  A disaster.  Of course, it is a disaster.  Only an idiot would allow such insanity.  I look away to make my selection for half of a second when I hear, "Here, Mom.  Hold this." What is "this"?  The lid to a bottle of hand sanitizer.  

So what do I do at this point?  I pick the screaming toddler up and walk as fast as possible toward the checkout.  I make it to the checkout lane after she nearly jumps over my shoulder, hand her a bag of M&M's and finally get her to peacefully sit in the area of the cart designated for toddlers.  Why didn't I begin this trip with that stupid bag of M&M's?

The patient cashier scans my $124 worth of merchandise and explains that she feels my pain.  She has a three year old.  I enjoy a big sigh of relief.  

Then I reach in my purse for my debit card.  That is promptly when I realize that my debit card is still in the back pocket of the jeans I wore to the movie theater Saturday night (for my obviously much needed girl's night out) which is where I placed it after leaving the theater to get a drink before the movie began.  

I had no credit cards with me.  I didn't have enough cash to pay for even half of the bill.  My first thought?  Do I have enough money for the diapers and the M&M's?  Nope... not enough.  She cancels my order and assures me that I can pay for everything, including the half consumed M&M's when I return with my card.  

I make it halfway through the door when I realize.  I HAVE CHECKS!  Who still uses checks?  Me.  I use checks.  And as I'm using that check?  Some lady who I let go ahead of me in line looks back and says, "Be patient, Mom."  I wanted to patiently punch her in the face.   

I make it to the car without assaulting anyone, including my toddler, and load everything in.  I pull out of my parking spot and the screaming begins.  One of Brianna's beloved "kiki's" (blankie) didn't survive our trip to Target.  And you better believe I didn't go back in to get it.  If she is lucky I'll check the lost and found when I'm there in a few days to shell out my next $124.  

And she has only been two years old for thirteen days.  I'm scared.  Very scared.  

Random Wednesday

I mentioned in my last post that Brianna will "shhhhh" me when I sing sometimes.   She also breaks out the "shhhhh" if Michael and I argue or if someone is in the car with us and we are talking and she wants to hear the song playing on the radio.  While I'm not okay with her being disrespectful or disruptive... I  often have a hard time not laughing.  Part of why I find this so funny is that apparently I did the same thing when I was her age.  My little brother, Adam, was born on my second birthday.  Yes... the exact day... and he LOVED when our Mom sang to him.  I really didn't like it.  Apparently I would sit under the kitchen table and put my hands over my ears and scream, "STOP SINGING!!".  My mom said I am getting "payback".  If this is the worst of my "payback" I will gladly take it!!! 

Another fun (notsofun) fact... Michael obsessively sings and it drives me crazy.  Many days he wakes up singing and goes to bed singing.  He sings in the shower, he sings in the car, he sings at work.  The boy is always singing.  There are MANY days that I want to go sit under the kitchen table and cover my ears and scream "STOP SINGING!!".  For me, there is no greater torture.  We are going to Florida this year and for the first time in our seven years together we are driving instead of flying.  I'm thinking I need to invest in some really great noise cancelling headphones for that trip.  

I received one of the happiest text messages EVER yesterday morning.  My college roommate, Stephanie,  is 9 weeks pregnant!!!!  She and her husband, Austin, have had a very difficult  journey with more heartbreak than any couple should experience.  Please keep them and their little peanut in your prayers.  I am so incredibly excited for them and can't wait to watch as they experience every little and big joy that is coming their way.  I pray that God holds their hearts extra close right now!

How can I follow such a happy announcement?  How about I announce my own newest love?  Cranberry Juice! I am obsessed right now.  I try not to drink much (ummmm hello sugar) but I'm constantly thinking about a full glass of crushed ice and a splash of cranberry juice.  Yum!! I realize now after typing that how much that sounds like a pregnancy craving... nope... not me!!! 

Which conveniently brings me to the next topic I'd like to discuss. Michael and I have gotten the million dollar question pretty much on a weekly basis since Brianna was born.  "Are you ready for number two?"  "When are you going to give Brianna a sibling?"  "How many kids do you want?"  I can't say these questions irritate me... because they don't... I just don't have any answers.  The PRO/CON list continues to have way too much in each column keeping it balanced and no where near tipping in either direction.  I want Brianna to have at least one sibling and I like to pretend that with baby number two I won't be such a nutcase and be a little bit more laid back and be better at accepting help.  But then I think about recovering from another c-section and PPD and I'm terrified.  Absolutely terrified.  Then you consider childcare, Brianna starting preschool next year, diapers... I can go on and on and on.  But I will stop.   If God blessed us with another child tomorrow we would be extremely excited and thankful and we would figure all of the other stuff out in time.  If we wait until the timing is what we consider to be perfect then we will never have a second child.  As I told Tara over and over throughout her labor, "God's timing is always perfect."

Okay... I think that is enough randomness for a random Wednesday evening.  

I'm going to go attempt to kick insomnia's butt.  I've only been able to sleep a handful of hours a night this week.  It hasn't been fun and it is making me irritable and emotional at work, which is extra bad considering my clients typically come to me irritable and emotional themselves.     Thursday is MY Friday though...  I've almost made it to my three days home with my girl!  Goodnight, friends.                          

Happy Birthday, Brianna!

Michael and I officially have a curly headed, energetic, smart, and curious two year old little girl running around our house.  On her actual birthday (February 20th) I put a picture up on facebook and mentioned that when she turned one I felt like I was not only celebrating her but also my own accomplishment of keeping a little human alive for a whole year.  Now that her second birthday has come and gone I really feel like we celebrated HER this year!  I love who she is and every new little glimpse we get to see of her personality.  She makes us laugh constantly these days.  I love how much of a little sponge her brain is at this stage.  She remembers EVERYTHING.  And asks questions about the things she doesn't know.  

When she wakes up in the morning or after a nap she has so much to tell me.  Its like she has done a lot of thinking and she has to tell me every thought that crossed her mind while she was alone in her crib.  Yesterday we were out on the deck and she was playing.  She ran up to me and looked up and said "Mom, what is this place?" I immediately cracked up.  The fact that she called me Mom makes me laugh but I also still die a little inside every time she replaces Mommy with Mom.  I told her we were on the deck and she moved on satisfied with my response.  She asked this same question on Saturday when we went to lunch with my Aunt Sharon.  We went to a local barbecue place that is basically a big red barn.  Michael was carrying her and she said, "Dad, what is this place?".  He told her it was a restaurant but that isn't the answer she was looking for so she asked me again once we sat down.  I told her we were in a barn and she got a huge smile.  Then refused to sit in the highchair because, don't you know, that thing is a torture chamber for someone that is TWO.  Those things are for babies.  Why sit and enjoy the food and company when you can be running around in a BARN!

I have learned she does much better with our routine when she knows what to expect.  Talking with her about a change before it happens seems to make schedule changes go much more smoothly.  I plan to use this as my first defense when dealing with the infamous "terrible twos".  So far she seems to do just fine when she is rested.  When she misses a nap or doesn't get enough sleep we see some pretty terrible outbursts.  But I wouldn't trade it for anything.  

Brianna's Loves:  

Baby Graham & Baby J.R.

Madagascar 3

Kikis (Blankies) 

Stuffed animals (must to my dismay... and lack of room)

Books- favorites right now are Barney Goes to the Zoo and Lila Leapfrog

Accessories- shoes, purses, jewlery, hair bows etc

Bink (I need to somehow break her of this stupid pacifier before March 15th (two year doctor's visit)

Brushing her Teeth

The Polar Express (oh... you thought that was a Christmas movie?  Not in our house)

Bathies

Bread Crust (I find this super weird)

CANDY

Trains

Anything outside- I can't wait for SPRING!

Dislikes: 

Having her hair fixed, brushed or even touched

Highchairs

Lettuce (gets it from her Dad)

Here are some pictures from her party at our house last weekend.  She still has another party next Sunday.  This child is going to think birthdays are celebrated for a full month.  

Watch her grow!  A picture a month

"Coco Dots" were the theme

A little pre-party Swedish Fish

Every time I tried to sing "Happy Birthday" she said SHHHH Mommy!

Brianna LOVES Claire... Claire isn't so sure

Great Granny and Claire

The cake... that I hated...

But she loved it... that really is all that matters

So Sweet!!!

All hopped up on sugar!

Thank you to everyone that helped us celebrate Brianna!  She loved every minute!

Graham James Wiley

I have another new love in my life!!! My oldest bestie (time, not age) gave birth to the most adorable little man January 23rd and I have been anxiously waiting to type my first love note to him because he had a bit of a dramatic entrance into this world! I didn't feel comfortable sharing MY version of his birth  story until she shared hers.  (Warning: this is a long post!)

Let's begin with a bit of the backstory.  Believe it or  not, my mother and Tara's mother shared a hospital room when they gave birth to us!  We were born six days apart and our mother's who were in their late twenties had gone to high school together back in the day.  Tara grew up down the street from me and we went all the way through school together.  We had our very own shortcut to get to each other's houses.  We did everything together.  We were sisters.  We played like sisters, fought like sisters and loved like sisters.  Very long story short... it was amazing.  

So on Monday, January 22nd, four entire weeks before her due date I received a text message while in a work meeting saying that her water broke and she was on the way to the hospital.  I was convinced it was a joke.  She had been telling me that this was a fear of hers for quite a while.  I kept laughing it off and telling her that it doesn't happen very often and it just really FEELS that way.  She and I both thought she would make it beyond her due date.  She has worked out and remained super healthy throughout her pregnancy.  Well... it was not a joke... she assured me that her water breaking was very real... in her office kind of real! I had a brief anxiety attack and told her I was going to get to the hospital as soon as I could.  She was there for me throughout my induction and she kept me calm.  I wanted to do the same for her! 

Upon making it to the hospital and walking into the room I was in tears as soon as I saw her.  This was real!  This was happening!  Tara was going to be a Mommy... and soon! I'm not going to go into much detail about her labor because this is her birth story, not mine, but I felt so much love and excitement in these early moments.  I was seeing all of Tara's hopes and dreams become reality.  That's not something you see every day!  Tara is so strong, resilient and hard working.  Always has been.  Tara and Matt have fought hard for the beautiful relationship and marriage that they have today.  There was so much love in that room... that's what I want Graham to know.  Yes, there were fears of his early arrival and crazy anticipation that comes along with any labor, but my goodness... there was so much love bursting from that room.  

Turns out Tara's strength served her very well and she was a total rockstar at labor and delivery.  She amazed me.  And I hope Tara and Matt don't mind me also saying that Matt earned rockstar status in my book as well.  I love how he loves her.  Graham, you are such a wanted, desired, and celebrated little man and you will never have to look far when you need an example of what it means to be a good man.  

Graham came into this world at 12:44 PM on January 23rd and he was a beautiful 6 pounds and 9 ounces of joy.  The minutes, hours and days following his birth were emotional and terrifying.  It became very clear that this tiny bundle of joy was a fighter.  God answered SO MANY prayers from so many people.  He was pulling through.  It is truly amazing to look at this little guy now and remember just how scary of a situation he was in just weeks ago.  With the help of some amazing nurses and doctors and the most pure form of love from his Mommy and Daddy and all of their family and friends, Graham kept making improvement after improvement... having so many of us standing in awe and appreciation.  There are so many heroes involved in this story.  My favorite?  Graham himself.  He is extraordinary.  And I think that is exactly the type of life he is destined to live... extraordinary.  

I feel my love grow for him every time I hear a new detail and quirk that has developed to form his little personality.  My heart expands when I hold him cuddled up on my shoulder as his Mommy and I catch up on girl talk.  He better get used to that girl talk... I need his Mommy and I like to think she needs me too.  Tara and I have been dreaming of our children and the friendship they may share since we were babies ourselves.  I have no words for the emotions I feel when I think of all of the memories we are going to create for Brianna and Graham.  The happiness and sheer gratitude I feel in my heart with his arrival is something I will cherish forever.  

Here is a picture I took on my phone while holding this little man yesterday.  Isn't that a sweet little face?  He looks so much like his Mommy.  

I also took some pictures of Brianna and Graham's first meeting which also took place yesterday.  I'm going to share those pictures and stories in a future post.  

I love you, Baby Graham!  Part of me already feels like you have always been in my life.  I will love you forever! 

You can read Tara's birth story on her blog: ourwileyworld.blogspot.com !